It was my first winter break that I had during my freshman year in college. I was so excited to come home from school and spend time with my friends for the first time in months. My parents had plans for the weekend. They planned a family trip to San Francisco, one they were so excited to take my sister and me on. I acted like a spoiled brat, complaining that I couldn’t have the experience I wanted. I had hoped for. In hindsight, my mother was aware that, while my friends were important, reinforcing our solid family identity was something I needed even more.
I am grateful for the little things that my parents did to help build strong families. I knew that I would be able to do the same for my kids. Family life looks different to me than I believed it would. I divorced several years ago and now my ex-husband and me are remarried to other people. These 7 tips can help you form strong and healthy families, no matter how your family looks.
Modeling
What your children witness you do as they grow up will be what you’ll see them doing when they’ve grown up. What are the role models you’ve set for your kids? Do they see the integrity and honesty of your actions? Do they show positive examples of skills for resolving conflicts? Are you able to recognize and encourage their individuality? Do you model healthy emotions and encourage expression? The most valuable gift you can give your child is the person you are. What our children see is more important than what we tell them. Both are essential. But there must be congruity between the talk and the walk.
Time
Most children spell love using the letters T, I, an M and an E. It’s true. The word “time” is used by the majority of children to spell love. Healthy parents can’t be bothered to make time. It’s a struggle! We’re all occupied with demands and pressures. In the chaos, our children may appear to be an interruption. It’s unrealistic to expect us to give up and be attentive to the demands of our children. It is important to remember that children have a different sense of time than we do. What are the best ways to “make time?” One way is to set aside special times for children. Recognize them each morning when they wake up or when they return from school. You can schedule certain times throughout the week.
Nurturing Love
Learn how to say “I love you” in multiple ways. The apostle Paul gave wise counsel to husbands and wives. He says that cherishing and nurturing the other is two of the most important activities in a love-filled relationship. The tough part is expressing gratitude. It’s a sign you care about and value something. It is significant to you. It’s possible that you aren’t able to express it. This is where the nourishment is essential. The act of nourishing goes beyond the mindset to action. It takes quality nourishment to stop, gaze at, listen and research that special person.
A Positive Environment Words of Encouragement Kids
A supportive environment is one in which we spend the most time encouraging and developing connections with those we love rather than correcting or dissing them. It’s one where we respect them by speaking with respect to them. Encouragement is a place where we are focused on helping those we love do well instead of making them commit mistakes. We spend more energy praising our loved ones for their accomplishments rather than blame them or blaming them for not meeting our expectations.
Healthy Anger
What are your thoughts when you hear the words anger? Are you sure that anger is not a bad thing? Do we have the ability to see this unwelcome and potentially harmful emotion a gift instead of being a time bomb? A healthy home is one where people express anger in HEALTHY ways. It’s surprising to learn that anger can become a good friend and an ally if it’s accepted and expressed in a healthy manner. This Article can result in more trust, intimacy and more enduring relationships. While we may not have complete control over how we feel, we do have control over how we communicate it.
Quality Communication
A sign of a healthy family is that members communicate more with each others, express their feelings so that they understand what is being spoken to them, keep the channels of communication open, display more understanding of each other’s emotions, and recognize the importance of non-verbal aspects of communication. Smart families recognize that communication is not something that occurs by itself. They make some time each week to talk in a clear and concise manner.
Conflict as a Way to intimacy
We aren’t aware of the importance of conflict. We misunderstand its potential and can interpret it as an attack. Conflict is the process that we traverse through and the cost we pay to have intimacy. When we avoid healthy conflict, it hinders our the possibility of growth.
There are three actions to follow when conflict arises. First, set your primary goal to understand the other person. Take a moment to discuss, define , and acknowledge the issue. Listen. Second, ask yourself “What do I contribute to the problem?” Most of us find it easier to identify the contribution of the other party to the problem, the ways they need to change and what can do to improve the situation without admitting that we have to changetoo. Thirdly, you must commit to understanding what the issue looks like through the eyes of the other.